“‘…Sit
here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee
along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to
them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and
keep watch with me.’…Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping.
‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?’ he asked Peter…”
(Matthew 26: 36-40)
I can remember my first “best-friend”. His name was
Chris and he lived around the corner from my grandma. He was a funny kid and we
got along really well. We were both in third grade and were always hanging out
doing things third grade boys do, which probably means throwing rocks at stuff, throwing water balloons, and pretending to be ninjas.
However, no matter how many good memories I had with
Chris, it all went south when I got jumped on the playground. One day, I
accidentally hit a kid while swinging on the monkey bars. If I remember
correctly, I was pretty excited because they were the higher monkey bars that
the older kids went on, and I was handling them like a boss.
Anyway, one kid pulled me off the monkey bars and
another grabbed my leg and hit it on a pole, WWE style. I looked for Chris to
help me, but he ran. In fact, he didn’t even run to get help. He ran to another
part of the playground and watched from a distance.
Our friendship ended that day and he kept my water
balloons…punk.
I scan through all my friendships and there have
been many that have come and gone due to time and life circumstances. I can
also think of the friendships that have ended due to failure on my part or the
other person’s.
I think we can all think of one or two friends that
have failed to be true friends. We can all think of the friends who claimed to
be close and tight, but when the rubber met the road, somehow the connection
was far and loose.
At times, we may even have found ourselves with
friends who betrayed our trust. We pour our energy into keeping an honest and
open relationship with them and they use our information against us. They might
even join in the trash talk about us that others might partake in. The people
we expect to rise up with us and stand firm in our bond choose to release us by
celebrating our brokenness.
It’s hard.
So, what should we do? How should we handle this
betrayal? Should we respond with harsh words and negative talk about them or
should we rise above it?
We are called to love everyone and pray harder for
our enemies. We are told to avoid letting the sun go down on our anger. We are
commanded to not worry. Christ was very clear about how we should treat people
who wrong us by forgiving them…a lot! (Matt. 18:21-22)
Friends will fail. We will fail as a friend, but
hopefully we are better at being the friend to others that we would like to
have.
It is all about how we respond that marks our faith
and our ability to move forward.
When friends fail us, we need to forgive them
because it frees us from bitterness. It doesn’t mean we accept them as friends
again or even open ourselves up to having them in our lives again. We still
need to forgive.
We need to pray for them. One of the most freeing
experiences is praying for someone who doesn’t like you or you are struggling
to forgive. It allows you to trust God, let Him work, and put it on His
shoulders the way He told us to do in the first place.
Avoid letting anger control you. You will get angry
because you have been hurt. It’s natural. However, when it controls us, we no
longer serve the real Master because we are mastered by our anger. Let it go.
Finally, don’t worry about what their words or
actions mean to you. Yes, you lose a friendship, but it frees you up for a new
relationship down the road. Yes, you will have hurtful words spread by hurt
people, but if you follow the steps above, your character will speak louder
than their words. Unhappy people long to see others unhappy. Don’t let them win
in that way.
You are precious in God’s sight. He created you with
great purpose. He created you for community. Do not allow your community to
shrink because one or two people fail to be the friends you needed them to be.
Follow Christ’s lead and your true friends will be
revealed as you move along in your life.
May we all experience good and healthy friendships
and may we be discerning enough to choose our close friends wisely.
Peace and blessings friends.
QUESTION:
What characteristic do you look for in a friend?
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