What To Do When Your Heart Is Broken

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”- Psalm 34:18

I have seen so many posts and memes about people and their relationships ending. They have pictures of crying eyes or broken hearts. They share status updates about how they don’t know what to do now that they don’t have that special person in their life.

I have also seen people share about losing loved ones. Death is a hard reality we all face, and when it comes, whether expected or unexpected, it is emotionally draining.

There are people who talk about broken relationships with family members that they would never expect to have had. The fact is, of all people our families should be the last group of people who break our hearts, but they do, and it’s hard to handle when it happens.

We have all had our heart broken at one point or another. We all handle it differently. There are people who drink their sorrows away, yet the drinking only masks the pain. There are people who jump into other relationships quickly to prove their worth, which only ends up with more emotional strain. There are people who cry into a pillow and wait for the hurt to subside. We are all unique in our ways to seek comfort, some healthier than others.

Although we are different, there are a few things we can do to handle a broken heart that will be beneficial to everyone, no matter who you are or what your style of coping is.

1) REST: This goes against all natural inclinations to keep busy so you don’t think about the pain. However, the busier you get, the less time you have to reflect. Resting is a great exercise.
When you can sit down and think about good times, fond memories, and/or who you are as a person with or without the individual in your life, you can find healing. Healing comes when we finally acknowledge it is over. You can relax. Your body has been tense dealing with the pain, now let it settle. Your mind has been racing a mile a minute, let it calm down. Your rest will bring healing and allow you to move on to healthier living.

2) WORK: This does not go against the first activity, it actually coincides. While resting and reflecting, work on yourself. Work on who you are. Don’t rush in to another relationship or activity to prove your self-worth, but perform an evaluation of who you are. Are you living a healthy lifestyle that will allow you to live longer? Are you strong enough emotionally and personally to be alone? If you answer no to those, then work on it. How is your spiritual life? Have you found it dwindling while in a relationship or while coping with the loss of someone? Then work on it. Pray, seek God, ask for wisdom and peace. Allow Him to work in you and work His healing into the mix.

3) FOCUS: Focus your energy on positive things. Focus your time on serving others. Focus your time on helping to heal others. You see, God created us for community. Paul said, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).Perhaps when He shared those words, He knew that through our mourning with others in mourning, our healing could be achieved with their healing? We can share our hurt with others and grow through that focused time of care. Also, when we focus on others, it is less about us. We can wallow in our self-pity, but when we care for others it allows us to venture beyond our selfish nature and realize there are others hurting just like me, if not more.

A broken heart is something we can’t prepare for, but we know it will happen. God has given us the ability to receive peace through Him. He reveals Himself in all three of these actions. When we REST, He speaks. When we WORK on ourselves, He brings peace and restoration. When we FOCUS on others, He reveals His heart for us and all of creation through our connection in community.

My prayer is that when you experience a broken heart, you can come to find rest in your Savior, work on who you are created to be through Him, and focus on what He wants you to focus on beyond yourself.

May we discover the hope in our broken heart.

Peace and blessings friends.

QUESTION: Do you have a healthy coping mechanism?