“A man of too many
friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”-
Proverbs 18:24
I have been reflecting on friendship a bit. Having friends
is great, but I am not sure if friendship is viewed today as it should be. When
we look at social networking, mainly Facebook, we see followers and friends
being used a lot. We can add and drop friends without thinking twice about it.
Unfortunately, I think this is what friendship has amounted to these days.
Friendship is important and something we need to hold true
to. However, when we have a society that bases friendship on a “like” button,
we may be losing the concept of friendship quickly in this culture. Some people
make a list of non-negotiable items for their future spouses, but should they
do it for friends too? I think it might be worth it.
I felt like I needed
to list out a few needs I have from my friends. So, I thought I would share it.
They are not hard, but they are not easy. You will see what I mean from number
1:
1)
Accountability-
My friends know I am a firm believer in C.S. Lewis’ quote “The prayer that
precedes all other prayer is may the real I meet the real thou (or me meet the
real you)”. They know I am real with them and I expect them to be real with me.
If I am stepping outside boundaries, hurting Christ’s image, or even writing
poorly, I trust them to be speak truth into my life and hold me to a higher
standard. Jesus would.
2)
Honesty-
Like I said, truth is different from honesty. I expect them to be honest with
me. Don’t tell me you are staying at home tonight, but then I see a post about
you watching a great movie or eating amazing sushi. Be honest enough to say you
have other plans because true friendship does not hold grudges or end because
the other person is having too much fun without you.
3)
Tension-
This is a confusing one. Despite what we might think, tension is good for
friendships and relationships. It has to be healthy. If I have friends that
agree with everything I say or believe, then I am missing out on growth or
strengthening of who I am. This healthy tension grows both of us. If I say
something to offend my friend, then number one and two come into effect.
Unfortunately, today, if I say something and one of my 1300 Facebook friends
doesn’t like it, well, I am “un-friended” and no conversation is had. How does
that create growth or enhance our friendship? It doesn’t. This is why the idea
of a Facebook “friend” needs to be re-thought.
These are three things I hope to receive from my friends. There
might be other ideas involved within these three, but for the most part, this
is it. Good friends are hard to find, but I hope you find one if not more. I know
I have many and I hope I am as good to them as they are to me.
Question: Do you have
a non-negotiable list for close friends? If so, what are they? If not, do you
think it is necessary?
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