“But Moses said to the Lord, ‘Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.’ Then the Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.’”-Exodus 4:10-12
Lately I have been wrestling with my calling in ministry. I wonder whether or not I’m cut out for it. In fact, I even wonder why God would consider me worthy to be a part of this work.
If I’m honest, this isn’t my first time questioning my call. It happens at least five times a year.
I remember feeling the call into ministry in early 2000. I was serving as a leader in WyldLIFE, the junior high version of YoungLIFE, a ministry developed to reach youth who would not normally step foot in a church. It was a great experience.
While serving in the leadership role, I was asked to do skits, lead games, and occasionally give a talk about Jesus. This was the first time I had ever been asked to do something like that and I felt comfortable doing it. It seemed like a fit for me being in front of kids and showing them that following Jesus is not a weird thing, He just has weird people sharing His message (that is somewhat a joke).
After my first message, I had a student come up to me and say, “Are you a youth pastor or will you be?” At the time, I was focused on becoming a doctor. I had no intention of pursuing pastoral ministry, so my reply was, “nope”.
Then, as time went on, I had a few other adults and kids come up to me and ask the same thing. I could not ignore the thought, so I decided to not go to the college I was accepted to, and entered a junior college to figure out where God wanted me to go.
Again, I was a pre-med major aiming to become a pediatrician. While at the JuCo, that’s what they call it in the biz, I discovered I hated math and was decent at science. However, I loved public speaking courses, writing courses, and history of religions.
When it came to being involved in medical work or ministry, my heart was pulled to ministry. I changed my major and the trajectory of my life changed quite a bit. I went to Kenya, I moved to West Virginia, I served with World Vision and a couple churches, and I found energy in sharing the gospel of Jesus whenever I could.
This is where my heart is!
Questioning your call is essential in discovering where God has you for the season or for life. I do not foresee pastoral ministry as a season for me, but my life. Of course, God could have other plans, but for now, I am in it and loving it!
So what about you?
What do you feel led to do, but doubt your ability? What do you have a heart to pursue? Here are some ways to consider your calling:
1) Listen: Listen to the Spirit within guiding you. Pray sincerely and possibly fast to focus on God. You will feel a tug on your heart leading you to do certain work. It may not even be vocational, but something you do on the side for the glory of God. Seek God and His wisdom and allow Him to reveal the purpose for your passion. Remember, this is for the glory of God, not merely a hobby.
2) Affirmation: You will have people speaking into your life as well. God has made us for community and through that community He speaks. Listen to people who are on the same path as you. You might have friends who are not followers of Christ share positive thoughts about your skill or heart and you should listen, but especially listen to those who are connected to Jesus. Always use discernment and seek guidance from the Spirit as you move forward.
3) Energy: Where do you get your energy? For me, I get my energy from working with students, but also speaking to people. I love it. I get tired afterwards because I put my all into it. I could do it again and again without feeling overwhelmed or “over it”. Where you find energy most likely is where you are called to serve and bring glory to God somehow. Find it. Use it. He has given you that passion to do great things for His name to be known.
I love what I do. When I question my calling it is mainly to be sure I am still doing what The Lord wants me to be doing. We always need to be sure that we are on the right path and pursuing what God wants us to pursue with the passions He has given us.
Again, it might be for a season or a lifetime, but ultimately it is for His glory.
I must be alright for now because apparently I haven’t received a “cease and desist” letter from God just yet.
May we pursue our passion for the glory of God. May we focus on His call in our lives. May we discover who He has created us to be to join His kingdom work here on earth.
Peace and blessings friends!
QUESTION: Where do you feel called to be? Are you pursuing it? Why or why not?